The funniest Trump insults of, by and for the people
For the partisan, it’s a chance to see who has the funniest insults, Trump or his foes. For innocent bystanders, it’s an insight into the way Trump has transformed American politics.
This is a special bonus edition of our collection of the funniest political insults in history.
Famous Trump putdowns
One of the most remarkable things about Donald Trump’s insults is the way he boldly goes where most politicians fear to tread.
He’s not a war hero. He was a war hero because he was captured. I like people who weren’t captured.
Donald Trump on John McCain
Look at that face! Would anyone vote for that? Can you imagine that, the face of our next president?
Donald Trump on Carly Fiorina
You could see there was blood coming out of her eyes, blood coming out of her wherever.
Donald Trump on Fox News debate moderator Megyn Kelly. He later clarified he didn’t mean she was menstruating, he meant blood was also coming out of her nose.
See you next Tuesday.
Donald Trump to Roberta Kaplan. Since their next meeting was Wednesday, Kaplan was confused, until her team explained it was schoolyard code for C U Next Tuesday.
If Hillary Clinton can’t satisfy her husband what makes her think she can satisfy America?
Donald Trump
Pocahontas
Donald Trump on Elizabeth Warren and her Cherokee heritage
Do you mind if I sit back a little? Because your breath is very bad.
Donald Trump to Larry King
Trump’s nickname insults
Most Donald Trump insults keep things simple. He picks a potential weak point and hammers it with a two-part nickname. Not necessarily the funniest Trump insults, but certainly the most frequent. You can find a longer list on Wikipedia.
Sleepy Joe
Donald Trump on Joe Biden
Crooked Hillary
Donald Trump on Hillary Clinton
Crazy Bernie
Donald Trump on Bernie Sanders
Low Energy Jeb
Donald Trump on Jeb Bush
Lyin’ Ted
Donald Trump on Ted Cruz
Sloppy Chris Christie
Donald Trump
Failing New York Times
Donald Trump
Fake news
Donald Trump on the mainstream media
Literally belittling nicknames
For Trump, size matters. Which is possibly why he’s so sensitive to suggestions he has tiny hands. It’s no surprise then that he seems to feel the funniest insults are those that literally belittle his foes.
Little Marco
Donald Trump on Marco Rubio
Little Jeff Zucker
Donald Trump
Little George Stephanopoulos
Donald Trump
Little Ben Sasse
Donald Trump
Little Rocket Man
Donald Trump on Kim Jong-un
Funniest Trump insults from the comedy professionals
Despite being so out there he almost defies satire, Trump fascinates comedians and late night hosts.
A racist scarecrow stuffed with scrunched-up copies of Juggs magazine
John Oliver on Donald Trump
This sentient circus peanut now holds the future of a major political party in his tiny, raccoon paw-sized hands.
John Oliver on Donald Trump
Drumpf
John Oliver suggests calling Trump by his old family name
Donald Trumpkin
Jonathon Ross on Donald Trump
A decomposing jack-o’-lantern
Jon Stewart on Donald Trump
The guy whose eyes look like tiny versions of his mouth
Jon Stewart on Donald Trump
Fuckface Von Clownstick
Jon Stewart on Donald Trump
A clown made of mummified foreskin
Sarah Silverman on Donald Trump
Donald Trump is like a fart in a spacesuit: he’s toxic, but he’s not going anywhere.
Bill Maher
Donald Trump is like a piñata: you know there’s nothing good inside, but you still want to hit him with a stick.
Conan O’Brien
He doesn’t know the difference between Medicare and Medicaid; he barely knows the difference between Melania and Ivanka.
Jimmy Kimmel on Donald Trump
Sir, you attract more skinheads than free Rogaine. You have more people marching against you than cancer. You talk like a sign-language gorilla who got hit in the head. In fact, the only thing your mouth is good for is being Vladimir Putin’s cock holster.
Stephen Colbert on Donald Trump
You have a weird citrus golem as a president.
Jemaine Clement in response to American comic Paul Tompkins tweeting a picture of the NZ Electoral Commission’s Orange Guy, saying “Did you know that New Zealand has a weird citrus golem as a voting mascot?”
Funniest Trump insults Trump moments
Some of the things Trump says about himself are so bizarre, it’s like he’s trying to make himself look bad. Here are some of the funniest Trump insults Trump moments.
She does have a very nice figure. I’ve said if Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her.
Donald Trump on Donald Trump’s feelings for his daughter
My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well documented, are various other parts of my body.
Donald Trump on Donald Trump
I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody and I wouldn’t lose any voters.
Donald Trump on Donald Trump
I don’t do things wrong. I do things right. I’m a legitimate person.
Donald Trump on Donald Trump
Actually, throughout my life, my two greatest assets have been mental stability and being, like, really smart.
Donald Trump on Donald Trump
I know words. I have the best words.
Donald Trump on Donald Trump
We hope you enjoyed this collection of Donald Trump insults. Check back soon, we’ll be adding new Trumpian takedowns as they come to hand.
